Hi, have you met Warlords?

Although I was given a beta key to Warlords of Draenor, I was only able to play for a short while. I was too busy with work, trying improving myself socially, and trying to not fail varsity. So once that was all out the way and I could finally sit down and play WoD, and the launch issues had been swept under the rug, I could finally enjoy the marvel that once WoD...or so I thought. I managed to get my first level 100 a few days ago, and like the good little addict I am, I couldn't wait for the next injection of time wasting grinding to get the next character to that level. Starting off on the Horde side, because fuck the alliance, Frostfire Ridge was the home away from home, away from planet, away from time stream....sorry lost my train of thought. Anyway, I jumped in, downed some energy drinks, told friends to fuck off for a few days and gain my level 100. But then I released something, I don't want to do this again. WoW use to be simple and fun, but now trying to look after followers, your garrison, and not be murdered by everything is started to get me. I fell like it's taking me away from the main point of the game and you are forced to experience that part of the game in order to experience others more fun parts, like it's a gate way drug hence the addiction reference. It still may be too early to tell but there is something about WoD that may make or break me as a player.  It might be early to make this decision and the release of the raids might make or break the relationship between myself and WoD, but then again it is balancing on raid finder so hopes aren’t high. 

Overwatch

Oh my god I think my pants just got a little tighter. Blizzard has been known to succeed in pulling off crazy shit. Known for mainly making real time strategy games like Warcraft and StarCraft, I am sure that people thought they were bat-shit crazy when they announced their MMORGP monster. However, that same soul sucking demon is the standard for those that follow it. Now when I heard that they were trying to pull off a first person shooter, I chuckled, thinking “Oh Blizzard you crazy bastards!”  Then Overwatch was presented at Blizzcon….and…fuck. Overwatch seems to play like a team death fps similar to that of Team Fortress, not surprising when they are both the love child of the same developer. You take the role of a tank, defensive, offensive or support, feeling the dirty fingers of modern MOBA, and instead of just trying to kill your opponents, you and your team of misfits must complete tasks. Of course relying on other always has it problems, and they way to solve this is that you don’t have to have every type of role in your team. You want six tanks, go nuts kid. You think six supports is a good idea, you crazy kids you. The game will allow you to have a single type in your entire team, but you will probably suffer if you do. And if the gameplay trailer for specific character is anything to go by, to seem to be following the easy to learn but hard to master methods of game style. The same method that will have you screaming “How the fuck did you do that, you hacker you?” as opponents pull off combinations that will leave you in envy. I have to admit though that it looks so amazing it would excite Alan Rickman, Blizzard seem to promising a how lot. Now, it could be my experience with South African politicians or of being disappointed, but this seems like a bit too much. 

Image courtesy of Blizzard Entertainment 

Beta is Closed

With the Warlords of Draenor beta coming to a close, I felt I should say something on it, even if my time with it was as short as the first time for a boy who only read about girls on the Web. Being as this is the first time I have ever been part of a beta, I had no clue as who to do a bloody thing, so I dove in head first like any crazy fan boy. As time went on I learnt my lessons and became experience, even leading my guild members into how to get started. Showing them how to start off then leaving them to explore the new world, mainly because I was getting tired of their questions about shit. Any way what can be said that hasn’t been already said, the new graphics look awesome, the new specs are tricky to get use to and the loss of certain spells keeps me up at night. The new story with old faces makes one think what could have been if the Cool Aid wasn't spiked by demon blood, and we finally get to deal with Garrosh and his daddy issues.  The one big thing that got me, is that WoW has always been an MMORPG that uses the idea that you as a character are not alone in any fight, but the garrison systems seems to contradict that. You are the only one with the garrison and you are commander, or so it seems. I do like that you can chat to anyone else in their garrisons via general chat, like that of a city, but with you being the only one in the garrison, I felt that I was a crazy person talking to people in my head. Usually the conversations are more interesting. 

Come on Blizzard, tinker a litte

What makes a MMO great, apart from gameplay, story, and loyal fan boys, is the classes they offer. WoW has coined the class dynamic and the roles in which they play. The original list was great and each class had its role and story within the lore of Warcraft. The addition of the Death Knight not only as a class but as a hero class, fitted the launch of Wraith of the Lich King, like South African politicians and corruption. The monk's addition, which I totally called by the way thanks Blizzard,  had its glorious intro and game launched on like the devoted disciplines they were, or wanted to be. To be honest with the announcement that Warlords of Draenor would have no class or race addition, I was kind of disappointed. I started this disappointment rant by suggesting and debating new classes and races with a fellow ranter over some much needed liquid bread. The races debate was put on hold, in fear that we would need to remove our heads from our arses due to shear stupidity, the classes proved more successful. We suggested that maybe the addition of a Tinker or Demon Hunter class. Both could use mail, solving the addition mail user problem and each could have a tanking class. I want to focus on the tinker first. Now I should mention that a am nervous to use the phrase “like a [certain class] but”, because it makes it seem unoriginal but it helps to give the reader something to picture while arguing against my idea.

 The tinker could have a tank, dps and healing spec, each using a system of explosives, casters, rockets and robots during the fights. The tank spec, enforcement, uses a system of combo points or energy called potential energy which they gain by actually hitting the target or getting hit. Similar to a warrior or pally tank, the enforcer uses this to perform moves. His threat generator would be called "Static discharge" which gives off a static discharge every time the tinker hits a target and act similar to the pally's "Righteous Fury". The healer tinker, mixer, would use lasers, injections and sludge to heal. For example the tinker throws a caster to the group filled with regenerative agent, healing the raid members in a certain area. His/ her injection act as either heals buffs, or cures, and the lasers act as their main offence abilities and heals. The dps tinker ,crafter, would act as a mid-range dps, using melee attacks, bombs, rockets, lasers and robots as their tools. The crafter could act similar to an enhancement shammy having close range and mid-range attacks. Each spec gets their own robot helping their role in a fight, similar to the monks. Like the crafter gets a turret, the mixer gets a medic-bot, and the enforcer gets trainer-bot (giving them more health and increasing their threat generation) The class would get their own special item, a pouch or backpack, for their weapon slot. Obviously the first to races that come to mind are gnomes and goblins being tinkers, and maybe dwarves and orc as well do to them using tech by their small little friends that won’t move out of their dear cities. 

 There are some bugs to work out, I grant you, but Blizzard please try make this happen. If you do, then I expect to at least have an npc named after me, because if you don't then I will start throwing bricks through windows at your headquarters...attached to flaming copies of Diablo 3. 

Tinker from the first Dota

Pandaland...thanks for memories

With the next WoW expansion on the horizon and we leave Pandaland behind, I wanna take a look back at the Mists of Pandaria as a whole. I joined the exploration of the pandas as the second patch hit, coming back after packing my bags and walking out on Cataclysm because of what she had become. After she showed me she had changed and wanted me back, I decided to take her back you continue from where I left off. I started with the new class which Blizzard totally stole my idea for by the way, monks. Deciding to kill two dragons with one cannon ball, the panda monk Pangtong, trying to sound plausible, was born. Although the panda being able to choose a side made it harder to know which I needed to me and which one wanted to cook and eat my worgen, I overlooked at it, mainly because the rolling function made fighting feel fun and hit close to home. All and all the monks were a great new class that was easy to use hard to master, covering almost all player types. Now the expansion itself felt like a roller-coaster with a slow, flat ending. Jumping into a new unknown story line in Warcraft, showed Blizzard can make an entire expansion based on a joke. It kept me excited learning about new characters while still developing old ones. I say slow flat ending however because the Siege of Orgimmar as a whole felt like a desperate wrap up of a story, that lasted way too long. Why have this buildup of this amazing new land, only to have the final raid back in old WoW? My favorite raid in the whole expansion has to be Throne of Thunder, rating into my top five raids of all times. The gear looked amazing; the game-play punished you if you didn't know what you were doing, and rewarded you if you learnt from your mistakes. The build up to the Isle of Thunder too, felt amazing to complete, but the consist dailies made playing fell like a 9 to 5 job where your boss is insane ask the same fucking thing every day expecting a different result. That was one of the major drawbacks of Mists. The dailies made rep grinding the fell like pulling rusty bits of metal from your skin, you know it will be better for you in the long run, but it sucks now. The elites and small treasures found across Pandaria made me feel like Indy, exploring dark forests, finding rare treasures protected by wild beasts, and really hating snakes. The one big grief I have with MoP is it lasted timing. It lasted over two years and the last raid was 12 months? Really Blizzard come on, give us something new. I know it is hard to roll out a new expansion and it takes time, but develop the last patch of the expansion and only release it may be like 5 months before the next expansion. Just time release dates a bit better, all I am saying. 

This image is owned by Blizzard, that giant game making company that owns my soul

Maleficent leather

Disney must be kicking in his grave. Angelina Jolie`s new film interpretation of the villain which was one of the scariest woman with a fondest for black things in the whole Disney world, makes me question everything I thought I knew about my childhood builders. Maleficent takes a new look at the villain of Sleeping Beauty, making her hotter and less a crazy bitch being mean just because it's that time of the month, every damn day of her life. One symptom being you suddenly gain an American accent, as Maleficent starts off British then becomes a rebellious colonial. Plot  breakdown: boy meets fairy, boy breaks fairy heart, fairy goes bat shit crazy and starts wearing dark leather....nice....fairy then finds she's can't be bitch, kills boy anyway. Sharlto Copely plays the part of the boy nicely, although there are times when his South African accent makes an appearance. The one thing that I have a problem with is that this movie was marketed up the bum, and any movie, game or series that is marketed that much is place on my shit list from the start. It’s like Benjamin Croshaw, better known as that crazy British-Australian video game critic that never uses punctuation, would say, that any game marketed so much means the developers themselves know it is shit and try to get as much hype for it as possible to feel a little better the y produced something so shit, by swimming in our money. Cocks.  

Who's afraid of a guy called Bigby?...This bear

Okay so although I am a little late to the party, I finally managed to find enough time in my schedule to play and finish Wolf Among Us by Telltale games. The game is based on fable characters and more importantly the DC comic Fables. This takes all our favourite fairy tale characters and throws them into a modern day New York, with first world problems to make them more relatable. You play the role of Bigby Wolf...see what they did there, the cigarette smoking, whiskey drinking, tough son of a bitch…literally… sheriff. The game is from the some guys that made the Walking Dead game, so there is no surprise that it is a point and click adventure game heavy soaked and dripping in story. In terms on game-play it is limited but fulfills the limitation nicely and the story just gives it that much needed drive to keep you coming back. The characters all look to you to solve their problems however, like the ward mother of suicidal teens, all looking for you to help them and feel for them. And being a point and click adventure, you also get to choose a response to their statements by pressing A,B,X or Y, a procedure I often use negotiating my everyday conversations. the problem is though you choose a response thinking Bigby will say it in a certain context, only to have him verbally castrate the person.   The peak of the serious was when you finally managed to kill a bitch who, let’s face it, had it coming that psychotic bitch, like the ex-girlfriend who was amazing in bed but killed a relative every time you pissed her off by leaving the toilet seat up. The graphics do its comic book background proud. All that said it was in my opinion a good game, not great but worth it. I just hope in the next one the mother and father bears come bitching about a golden-hair hooker, that junior brought home. 

Oh Lucy...you make me worried

I don't know what to say...I just don't know. The feeling I got from watching the latest Scarlett Johansson movie, Lucy, left a bad taste in my mouth as well as a fish slap to the brain. The reason I say fish slap is because it wasn't hard enough to leave me mentally retarded, like a tuna or haddock, but enough for my brain to feel tossed around like a kitten in a tumble drying. The concept behind the movie is what would happen to us if we started using more than 10 % of our brains capability. The movie`s answer is that we all become superheroes with no emotions what so ever. Interesting theory but I for one don't buy it. However I have no degree in evolution and know nothing about the human brain, except many South African politicians have none, so I'll let the writers have their day. As a movie, the plot is like the uninvited kid to adult’s party, confused and awkward. Towards the end it takes a left up bat shit Crazy Street and missions down it at top speed. Morgan Freeman plays the role of a professor of...stuff, and plays the role brilliantly. I don't know what it is but his voice lead me to believe everything was fine, when all I saw in the movie was pretty lights and gun fire like Michael Bay producing on my face. Now with regards to Scarlet...what do you want me to say it's fucking Scarlet Johansson...she shows a tiny bit of cleavage in any movie and thousands of straight men will flock to the movie with dates with a tissue box later that evening...and I like to think some women too. 

For the Horde....kinda

Well it's about time. After many days of trying to get a solid internet connection in order to download Warlords of Draenor beta, I have finally reached that stage where I can play, but as slow as a asthmatic snail due to additional downloads being done during game-play. Fuck.  Anyway the beta started with my orc hunter being dumped next to a very large human offering me a garrison. I was naturally skeptic. One, why is he giving away garrisons for free? Two, where is he keeping these garrisons? And three, why the fuck am I questioning this, it's a game, to which I immediately built my little pleasure palace the furthest it could go only to find I couldn`t add any fucking buildings. Why does it seem that the Horde get the bell end of everything? So I decided to double agent myself over to Alliance with a draenei paladin with amazing facial hair. Rinse, lather, repeat and I found that the Allaiance garrisons are actually working. Blizzards, Alliance are cool and all but fuck it they are not the only faction. Through something the horde's way once in a while. The horde bike from...*cough cough* Azeroth Chopper should show you that the fan base for horde could eat the Alliance base for breakfast. What also grinds my tits is that Mist of Pandaria and Warlords of Draenor both make the Horde assholes because of what a handful of individuals have done. I know this is just to drive the game and shouldn't be something that I start clubbing baby seals about, but from a story line perspective, it annoyed the shit out of me. 

Guardians of the Galaxy Review

I honestly don't know what I was expecting. After a late night viewing of Marvel's latest comic book to film adaption I can't help but feel that they have dropped the ball....then popped the ball and rubbed it in our faces like the crushed hopes and dreams of a five year old child. Guardians of the Galaxy isn't the biggest comic book name around, kind of the second cousin once removed of the family, but it still has some interesting characters. Not going to give details about the characters because that’s what Wikipedia is for. But it is still a Marvel movie so i decided to show it respect, which i regret doing. The hype for the movie was so over done that it you felt it was going to be the greatest movie in modern history, but that should give off warning bells. Anything as over hyped as this movie, makes it feel like that the producers themselves feel that this movie might not be good so let’s just market the shit of it and hope for the best. As a movie by itself, it does the job of throwing non-believers into the larger Marvel universe and Chris Pratt does the role of Starlord justice, but wrestlers in movies is asking for trouble. And the sticky fingers of Disney are all over this movie, especially when the "heroes" defeat the main villain by holding hands. The piece of glass in the urinary track was the end credits feature. Everyone knows you stick around after a Marvel movie to see the next big feature. But if this is the next big feature Marvel, count me the fuck out. I won't spoil for you but the last end credit feature with Bruce Banner acting like a therapist to Tony Stark was comedic, but this one could lower the IQ of the general population a few more precious notches.

Warlords of Draenor Beta...kinda

I have previous blogged on how I received a Warlords of Draenor, the fifth expansion to the soul sucking MMORPG World of Warcraft, and I have to say that there is a slight bulge in my pants. Although I am not boasting the steroid pumping graphics and an internet line that should be a criminal offense, I have to say that it looks amazing. I haven't downloaded the full game yet, so i have only managed to do is create random characters and tour the new Orgrimmar, one of the main cities for those who don't know what I am talking about because you live under rocks, and the details and adjusts Blizzard have made to the character models is truly amazing. I normally have an issue with everything Blizzard does, but this time I can't complain. I have only seen so far many five new models, but that's all they needed to do to get me back to their place for a night of passionate clicking.

Ain't what it use to be

Well for those of you that don’t know…probably because I never fucking mentioned it, I am busy doing my honours in Informatics (Information sciences for those who want the proper name) and I have just finished my first semester and I have to say….holy shit why am I still doing this. This will be my sixth year of studying having done some engineering and then my Informatics degree beforehand and I have come to the conclusion that I’m a glutton for punishment. In the early years I could sit down and study for hours and pull all-nighters like the young party animal I was, but I have found that as I get older and the years progressed…sleep is more pleasing, youngsters are more annoying and I’m growing hair in really weird places. The progression of time is a scary and weird thing. When I was young, I couldn't wait to get older, drink, party and be able to receive speeding tickets by myself, but now that I’m older, wiser and more independent I can’t help but think….this sucks. 

Suddenly....enlightenment

I have been hanging on every word and video released on the last few days about the upcoming WoW expansion, Warlords of Draenor, detailing each experience I have received with the glee of a Saturday morning cartoon....then it occurred to me. I was explaining to a friend the level 100 talents for a mage and he asked "So it's the last expansion?"
"What you mean?"
"When we reach level 100 it's the end"
"No they are still more expansions coming"  
"Too difficult to level characters now...too far to go."
Then it dawned on me. I have a warlock and rogue in the works, still unable to venture out on their own without the helping hand of heirloom gear. Getting them to 90 seemed to require more amounts of my life than I prepared to give, but reaching 100...nope. And for those of you that say " you can buy a level 90 now"...I respond, yes i could, but living in the economical hell of South Africa it means spending over R500 for the character upgrade...money better spent on an evening out with a female companion with R500 worth the assets.  

The less than Amazing Spider-man 2

Okay so this is just a first impression but I think that the Amazing Spider-man 2 the game is shit. I will admit that i enjoyed the movie even with its glaring turd stains upon it, like the over fucking hype and the green goblin only being on screen for literally five fucking minutes, Jamie Foxx pulled off Electro to the extend where i could accept him as a decent villain. But once again my standard rule of any game based on a movie is shit. the voice acting is laughable at best and the characters have a need to flail their arms about more than any humans should or is physically capable. The camera seems hell bent on making it easier for the so called 'bad guys' to beat me, but frankly they need all the help they can get. Although i have stated that any game based is doomed to fail, there has been exceptions to this rule. Two adaptions have managed to escape the turd storm of other adaptions. Namely: Spider-man 2 and Wolverine: Origins. Wolverine succeeded by being as far away from the actual movie as possible and Spider-man 2 broke free by having a actual good movie and realizing that the story was shit and making the web slinging feel like actual web slinging. But as this is a first impression, I could be wrong. Or it could be the turd in a blue and red suit I think it is. 

Feel the love

Who knew that you could have such a profound effect on my life? With the general elections having just occurred in South Africa, the life sucking vultures called politicians have finished advertising their best lies in order to get my vote. The come to you all smiles and promises but with a hidden agenda. Frankly this scares the shit out of me. South Africa has always been on this delicate balance of peace and general being totally fucked up due to the lack of competence of the leaders since 1994. Okay Mandela was able to save a country on the brink of war and lead us down a path of porosity, but then his party kinda lost its punch. Being a white male in a country where you are deemed a racist because of people you have never met did, does leave one with few options. I live with this constant gaze upon me like “what’s whitey gonna do?” often frustrates the shit out of me. What makes it worse is that ignorant statements like “Only whites do that” re-enforces the circle of hate that apparently whites are known for. If I call you a moron, it’s because you a moron, not because you are white or black or even purple for that matter. Just accept that you are an asshole and move on.

Thanks are due

Okay so I guess it’s no secret that I spend a great deal of my time on the internet. Apparently I have internet addiction or something…the website wasn’t very helpful. But the one thing I did find that helped me was a YouTube video. This was a draw my life video made by the YouTuber Markiplier. It was a video where, as the name suggests, he draws a summary of his life. Now my life hasn’t been the best, but I have been more fortunate than most and watching his video kind of enlighten me. He made his channel to do something that he really wanted to do, and this blog is the same story. I had been thinking about making a blog for years, but never just did. Then I watched the video and it made me just do it. Kinda think of it as the Nike of YouTube videos. I was always told that you should thank the people of inspire you if get the chance. If he read this awesome…hi Mark and thanks. If not….well then damn.

Draw My Life - Markiplier 

Make the bully kill itself

This one goes out to all the parents. Now I understand that most parents know less about the internet than the spawn and have to make that awkward request when they want to secretly want to access that website for “research” and need the help of their “innocent” spawn that know that site and six others they consider better. I find it odd that we live in a day and age where parents go to their children trying to learn how things work and not the other way around. When I wanted to learn how to cook, I went to my mother. When I want to learn how to change a plug, I went to my father. Now I look up online just how I can cook my chicken cu don blue, a recipe my mother has never heard of.

This is not much of a problem but an opportunity. Meaning that parents should learn this stuff, by themselves, and take an interest in what their spawn are up to. With the recent issue of cyber bullying being a hot topic, parents are oblivious to the fact their spawn is creating hell in another spawns life. How does a parent monitor this though? Let’s face being friends with your parents on FaceBook does create a since of dread considering they might find that photo of you from three years age showing you in an interesting position that would be deemed unacceptable with a hand to the back of the head. So what’s left? To be honest I don’t know. I guess the traditional methods should be considered. Keep an eye on your children and talk to them. Are they being bullied or are they bullying. One should be met with hot chocolate and talking will the other should be met with the selling other the spawns most treasured item, profits of which go to a suitable charity, and a photo on the net describing the situation.

The other topic is games making spawn violent and causing them to go on a shooting rampage. This is not the case, you can’t deem something is unhealthy to spawn and band it because of the actions of a few. Although I agree some games are not helping my case, you know how you are, and are just using the violence as a selling point and have as much stimulating game play as a brick; this doesn’t mean that “My little pony” on the xBox is going to lead your spawn to kill.  As stated above, take an interest in what your spawn is playing and see whether their choice of games is worth your seal of approval or something to mention to the local authorities. If they only play “Savage Slaughter” the series, then there is room for concern.

Parents please understand that spawn feel often alone and isolated and teenage years don’t help. Be more involved with your children and don’t just leave it to their teachers or authority figures. You are damaging your spawn more than video games could ever if you send the message that they aren’t worth your time and effort. 

Lego Marvel Zeros

I have to admit that when I first thought about buying the game, the small remainder of the young boy left in me showed the first signs of reappearance in the last 5 years...then I played it, and that young boy was beaten like a stepdad beating his ginger kid. Lego's Marvel Heroes or whatever it's called is a combination of my two favourite things as a kid, Lego and Marvel Heroes which at the time seemed like the combination of peanut butterfly and syrup on a lovely piece of warm toast, but it quickly turned into marmite and dog shit. My team members proved to be more of a menace to me then the people I was fighting and the just stood and watch as I was getting beaten, just like the mother of a ginger child being beaten by their stepdad. Although the Lego seemed to understand its part in the game, which was to get in my way each and every fucking time I tried to collect the dropped Lego pieces that I desperately tried to gather like junky looking for a fix. Then the final piece in the coffin containing my childhood was the character collection. In order to collect your favourite characters outside the story line, you have to locate them and solve a puzzle to obtain the token...which you then have to purchase. Disney you money grubbing bastards. I admit the fact that I played by keyboard might not have helped and feelings towards the game...but it was eclipsed by my urge to leap into the game and beat the hell out of my favourite Marvel heroes whenever they opened their mouths. i would like to go on about the game but just writing about it has reminded me that a spent about $5 on this game...$5 I will never get back. 

Choosing sides

Okay so today I was hit with a question that made me question my entire outlook on life…Horde or Alliance? I have been playing Warcraft for about 15 years now, 5 of those years playing the soul sucking World of Warcraft. For those of you who don’t know because apparently you spend your time underneath a rock, the two opposing factions in the World of Warcraft are the noble Alliance filled with members that still need their parental figure go ahead to stay up late, and the honour bond Horde who fill their ranks with slightly psychotic video gamers, a scary notion in its self. Now back to the matter at hand, both factions offer in depth back stories of redemption, courage, and other fancy words that make them look heroic, while still having those moments in their history that you kind of ignore them and say “Nope, I don’t know them”. So in terms of story they are equal. If you ask what about gameplay, I meet you with a swift hand to the back of the head and move swiftly on. What it comes down to for me is what you want to do? Do you want to battle the various 1s and 0s designed to take on different forms and shapes, i.e., PVE; or to battle the ridiculously massive fan base and pray and hope they aren’t playing with a Rogue, i.e. PVP. In truth I play Horde for PVE and Ally for PVP. Why? Because the Ally for some odd reason always win PVP, because the Horde couldn’t be bothered to follow simple instructions and their thrust for blood always get me killed. The Ally however seems able to think during a blood thrusty encounter. However during a PVE such as a rad, they start to panic at the smallest hint of trouble running around screaming likes four-year old girls. Horde takes up the challenge and barrels on through honoring their blood carving nature. Of course there are exemptions to these rules, for example if you are playing against an all-Russian PVP team, you’re fucked either way. Thanks Putin. 

I got myself a hat

So a weird thing happened to me yesterday, I graduated and for some reason I don't feel any different.  I mean I worked my ass off the last three years literally, I lost like 10 kg in one year. All that for a piece of paper that says I am officially qualified to be a business analyst and not in so many words. All the people around me were crying and hugging,  my parents gave me that proud of you son look and my friends through their arms around me similar to when Man United scores a goal...which this season is not often. Honestly I don't feel the same way. To me it was just something I had to do, and I now need to do the next thing. The ceremony was impressive,  but as a hat was being held over held over my head, I couldn't help but think first: what is up with all the hats, second: really all that work for this? The argument 'it gives you opportunities' has been through in my face but so could cutting off my leg and replacing it with a peg leg. 

Reaper of Souls

Now we're talking. When Blizzard announce Diablo 3 after the same amount of time it takes for some one's hopes and dreams to die, I have to admit I was happier than a pig in a microwave. However Blizzard decided to meet my child-like anticipation with a large dump on my very soul. Diablo 3 was for a lack of a I am not very comfortable using here, a large disappointment. It was the same length as a pack of crisps and was about as fulfilling. But I have to admit they redeemed themselves with Reaper of Souls, mostly. The expansion of Diablo 3 completely change the special cousin of the Diablo family (the one you keep in the basement and is only ever mentioned in shame), and made it the energetic little brother that won't calm down and is consistently doing something new and different. The loot system replaces the auction house and does the game justice. The icing on the cake however, for me at least, is the added missions for your followers. During the 10 hours of playing the original, I have to admit I became attachment to the scoundrel and the witty conversation him and my barbarian would have. The expansion expands...haha...on the relationship bringing new wittier dialogue and even added sided mission resolving certain issues the follower had. Each sided mission brings the warm feeling of helping someone who consistently got in your way but kept trying like a faithful jack russell and kept going to completely uncanny places when any rational person would of through up their hands and yelled "Are you fucking insane?". All in all the expansion manages to save the origin from the savage stoning it had to endure and the absence of butterfly witches is always something to be happy about.

You Hollywood! Stop this shit!

The movie world is filled disappointments and failures. The worse is when the prostitutes of Hollywood take a beloved character and try ring every cent out of it till there is nothing left but a husk of its former glory. The Smurfs seem a prime example. As a child growing up the Smurfs taught me a lot of things. The person wearing different clothes to everyone else is often the leader or main villain, one girl in a group of guys is a slut and that you can replace swearing with the word Smurf and it sounds retarded. But when the movie came out, I refused. Too often had an eagerly waited in line for the movie adaption of my favourite cartoon, book, comic book, or game, only to leave feeling disappointed and in need on a good brain bleaching. Ghost Rider, Green Lantern, Prince of Persia, Under Dog, all was seen by an innocent mind and produce one of anger and pessimism.

 I don’t understand how this could happen. Usually the main reason this brilliant idea turned into a shit movie is the lack of story or bad choice of leading actor. The Ghost Rider franchise screwed the pooch on both counts taking the most bad ass character in the Marvel universe and making him a whinny little tart that Nicholas Cage  is held solely responsible for in my opinion. Ghost Rider is one of the most complex stories in Marvel so A) why make a movie about it unless you know it will be great, B) get Nicolas Cage to be Johnny Blaze and C)Fuck you Cage.

Max Payne was the game that sat close to my heart. Although the graphics were in need of a fine tuning the story and action kept things entertaining for me. Once you have shot the bad guys while jumping in slow motion, there is no better way to do it, unless you have a sniper rifle from four blocks away powerful enough to remove the bad guys arm no matter where your bullet made contact. Then Mark Walberg decided to laughably to make a movie adaption. The movie’s only saving grace was Mila Kunis. Apart from her there was only one scene with slow mo and Walberg’s desperate attempted to make us care about him….Go away Mark.

But there have been certain game changers that have made me rethink my position. Iron man and Batman being the top two. That being said here are some ground rules I believe.

·         No video game adaption, just no.

·         If you must make one of a comic book, use the fucking comic book as a story.

·         Don’t use Nicholas Cage or Mark Walberg, and sad to say Ryan Reynolds. Buddy Green Lantern and R.I.P.D were shit.

·         You will never be as good as the source material. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World the movie was good, the comic is better….much better.

With all that in mind I would like to leave you with a thought…they are making a Warcraft movie. Shit.

I see what you did there

They say that with any new blog you need certain things that make it stand out from the millions of others on the web. So what makes your blog an island of truth and relevance in an ocean of lies and porn? Well that comes down to personal choice. First you need a topic to write about, and preferably one that is close to the heart. If you are a murderous sociopath that would like to share their cutting techniques with the world, then that is what you should write about and expect a visit from the local law enforcement agencies about. The next is you need to provide something that no one else can provide. A talking dog comes to mind, but since that husky on YouTube has stolen the spot light, I am pretty sure that almost every idea has been thought of, faked, and posted on the web with a ridicules amount of followers trying to take a moment out of their miserable lives by watching it. Let’s face it if you rummage through the piles of stupidity the internet mainly consists of, to find real life pokemon (that everyone else can see is a cat and its owners need to be arrested for painting a cat yellow), then you need to rethink your life.

So what makes me stand out? To be honest, not much. Think of me as the ranting Swed from that sheep in the big city cartoon where I will complain too much, and to my heart’s content about everything and anything. Expect I don’t have an annoying voice or an obviously brain tumor causing my head to be explaining large.   If you feel this is the wrong attitude to have in this life, then that is your own opinion which I respect. We live in a day and age where to have one’s own opinion and be able to share it openly is something to celebrate and by celebrate I mean sit in front of a PC for 8 hours a day complaining about the new World of Warcraft expansion because the Elves ears are just to pointy and therefore hard to replicate at the next Blizzcon. I feel if you expect things to be shit and that people will let you down, then when they are or do, you are left don’t feeling disappoint, and you get to say “I told you so!” in that smug voice that makes people want to hit you in the face with a chair.

“But Dubu you ridiculously hairy man, aren't you being a bit hypocritical?” Frankly yes and that oddly is my point. The internet has given us such amazing power but as Spider-man keeps nagging about, “With great power, comes great responsibility”. As the ones defining the internet and its uses, we must make sure that the contents are those thought stimulating and interesting topic and the content that isn't is kept in the dark pits of the internet that you climbing gear and a flash light to find. We should teach the correct ways of using the internet and show people the good and bad parts of it ensuring both the advantages and disadvantages are clearly described and understood.

So like my blog, don’t like it. Find it interesting or spill your coffee due to its unreasonable nature, I don’t care. I am writing because I can and I feel that I should. Call me what you will, I have probably been called worse and that is your opinion which as previously stated I respect, besides if you truly felt I crossed a line and wanted to do something about it, you would have to tear yourself away from your computer screen, which let’s face it, isn't going to happen until you stop masturbating. 

Introductions are in order

Hey guys how's it going?

Welcome to my new blog and thanks for taking the time to venture out into the random part of the Internet and read the thoughts of a crazy man how calls himself Dubu. Dubu is the Swahili word for bear, how the Swahili people know what a bear looks like still is a mystery to me. The reason I am know as that is because of a nickname I was given and the fact that i live in Africa.

This blog is an extension of me so therefore it will contain what I enjoy doing, namely playing games, watching television, listening to music, and generally giving my opinion although no one is listening. Stick around if you are willing to read the random thoughts of some one you have never met, or leave now. Your choice.