You Hollywood! Stop this shit!

The movie world is filled disappointments and failures. The worse is when the prostitutes of Hollywood take a beloved character and try ring every cent out of it till there is nothing left but a husk of its former glory. The Smurfs seem a prime example. As a child growing up the Smurfs taught me a lot of things. The person wearing different clothes to everyone else is often the leader or main villain, one girl in a group of guys is a slut and that you can replace swearing with the word Smurf and it sounds retarded. But when the movie came out, I refused. Too often had an eagerly waited in line for the movie adaption of my favourite cartoon, book, comic book, or game, only to leave feeling disappointed and in need on a good brain bleaching. Ghost Rider, Green Lantern, Prince of Persia, Under Dog, all was seen by an innocent mind and produce one of anger and pessimism.

 I don’t understand how this could happen. Usually the main reason this brilliant idea turned into a shit movie is the lack of story or bad choice of leading actor. The Ghost Rider franchise screwed the pooch on both counts taking the most bad ass character in the Marvel universe and making him a whinny little tart that Nicholas Cage  is held solely responsible for in my opinion. Ghost Rider is one of the most complex stories in Marvel so A) why make a movie about it unless you know it will be great, B) get Nicolas Cage to be Johnny Blaze and C)Fuck you Cage.

Max Payne was the game that sat close to my heart. Although the graphics were in need of a fine tuning the story and action kept things entertaining for me. Once you have shot the bad guys while jumping in slow motion, there is no better way to do it, unless you have a sniper rifle from four blocks away powerful enough to remove the bad guys arm no matter where your bullet made contact. Then Mark Walberg decided to laughably to make a movie adaption. The movie’s only saving grace was Mila Kunis. Apart from her there was only one scene with slow mo and Walberg’s desperate attempted to make us care about him….Go away Mark.

But there have been certain game changers that have made me rethink my position. Iron man and Batman being the top two. That being said here are some ground rules I believe.

·         No video game adaption, just no.

·         If you must make one of a comic book, use the fucking comic book as a story.

·         Don’t use Nicholas Cage or Mark Walberg, and sad to say Ryan Reynolds. Buddy Green Lantern and R.I.P.D were shit.

·         You will never be as good as the source material. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World the movie was good, the comic is better….much better.

With all that in mind I would like to leave you with a thought…they are making a Warcraft movie. Shit.