Keep the faith my brothers and sisters

Is it just me or have things lost what they once were? I write this post with some disgust and sadness in my hurt...it has been four days since I have played World of Warcraft and I find myself trying new things. To set the record straight, yes there have been periods in my so called life when I have looked at that WoW icon sitting on my desktop only to meet its gaze with a shrug and a sigh, thinking to myself "Not feeling it". This has never concerned me in the past though with full knowledge that in a week or two I will be back, foaming at the mouth ready to crack the skulls and tear out the insides of menacing ones and zeros....but recently that feeling has been extended. It might be the fact that now that I have a proper job, and have to heed the words of the so called "Man", I just don't see the appeal anymore. My days are now spent crunching numbers and reviewing reports, not casting spells and swinging swords, the ladder of which sounds more like my cup of tea...or it could be because WoW are introducing a selfie taking toy in patch 6.1.....god dammit.

2015...you have a lot to live up too

Okay so am I gonna just say it that 2014 wasn't the best year for me personally. I was finishing my studies that robbed me of many nights of sleep, my relationships took a hard hit because of that, and all my future plans kinda just died on me...like all my hopes and dreams. So 2015 is upon us and there is a lot of "This can't get any worse." Too early to tell but we'll see.

For the Horde....kinda

Well it's about time. After many days of trying to get a solid internet connection in order to download Warlords of Draenor beta, I have finally reached that stage where I can play, but as slow as a asthmatic snail due to additional downloads being done during game-play. Fuck.  Anyway the beta started with my orc hunter being dumped next to a very large human offering me a garrison. I was naturally skeptic. One, why is he giving away garrisons for free? Two, where is he keeping these garrisons? And three, why the fuck am I questioning this, it's a game, to which I immediately built my little pleasure palace the furthest it could go only to find I couldn`t add any fucking buildings. Why does it seem that the Horde get the bell end of everything? So I decided to double agent myself over to Alliance with a draenei paladin with amazing facial hair. Rinse, lather, repeat and I found that the Allaiance garrisons are actually working. Blizzards, Alliance are cool and all but fuck it they are not the only faction. Through something the horde's way once in a while. The horde bike from...*cough cough* Azeroth Chopper should show you that the fan base for horde could eat the Alliance base for breakfast. What also grinds my tits is that Mist of Pandaria and Warlords of Draenor both make the Horde assholes because of what a handful of individuals have done. I know this is just to drive the game and shouldn't be something that I start clubbing baby seals about, but from a story line perspective, it annoyed the shit out of me. 

Ain't what it use to be

Well for those of you that don’t know…probably because I never fucking mentioned it, I am busy doing my honours in Informatics (Information sciences for those who want the proper name) and I have just finished my first semester and I have to say….holy shit why am I still doing this. This will be my sixth year of studying having done some engineering and then my Informatics degree beforehand and I have come to the conclusion that I’m a glutton for punishment. In the early years I could sit down and study for hours and pull all-nighters like the young party animal I was, but I have found that as I get older and the years progressed…sleep is more pleasing, youngsters are more annoying and I’m growing hair in really weird places. The progression of time is a scary and weird thing. When I was young, I couldn't wait to get older, drink, party and be able to receive speeding tickets by myself, but now that I’m older, wiser and more independent I can’t help but think….this sucks. 

Suddenly....enlightenment

I have been hanging on every word and video released on the last few days about the upcoming WoW expansion, Warlords of Draenor, detailing each experience I have received with the glee of a Saturday morning cartoon....then it occurred to me. I was explaining to a friend the level 100 talents for a mage and he asked "So it's the last expansion?"
"What you mean?"
"When we reach level 100 it's the end"
"No they are still more expansions coming"  
"Too difficult to level characters now...too far to go."
Then it dawned on me. I have a warlock and rogue in the works, still unable to venture out on their own without the helping hand of heirloom gear. Getting them to 90 seemed to require more amounts of my life than I prepared to give, but reaching 100...nope. And for those of you that say " you can buy a level 90 now"...I respond, yes i could, but living in the economical hell of South Africa it means spending over R500 for the character upgrade...money better spent on an evening out with a female companion with R500 worth the assets.  

Feel the love

Who knew that you could have such a profound effect on my life? With the general elections having just occurred in South Africa, the life sucking vultures called politicians have finished advertising their best lies in order to get my vote. The come to you all smiles and promises but with a hidden agenda. Frankly this scares the shit out of me. South Africa has always been on this delicate balance of peace and general being totally fucked up due to the lack of competence of the leaders since 1994. Okay Mandela was able to save a country on the brink of war and lead us down a path of porosity, but then his party kinda lost its punch. Being a white male in a country where you are deemed a racist because of people you have never met did, does leave one with few options. I live with this constant gaze upon me like “what’s whitey gonna do?” often frustrates the shit out of me. What makes it worse is that ignorant statements like “Only whites do that” re-enforces the circle of hate that apparently whites are known for. If I call you a moron, it’s because you a moron, not because you are white or black or even purple for that matter. Just accept that you are an asshole and move on.

Thanks are due

Okay so I guess it’s no secret that I spend a great deal of my time on the internet. Apparently I have internet addiction or something…the website wasn’t very helpful. But the one thing I did find that helped me was a YouTube video. This was a draw my life video made by the YouTuber Markiplier. It was a video where, as the name suggests, he draws a summary of his life. Now my life hasn’t been the best, but I have been more fortunate than most and watching his video kind of enlighten me. He made his channel to do something that he really wanted to do, and this blog is the same story. I had been thinking about making a blog for years, but never just did. Then I watched the video and it made me just do it. Kinda think of it as the Nike of YouTube videos. I was always told that you should thank the people of inspire you if get the chance. If he read this awesome…hi Mark and thanks. If not….well then damn.

Draw My Life - Markiplier 

Make the bully kill itself

This one goes out to all the parents. Now I understand that most parents know less about the internet than the spawn and have to make that awkward request when they want to secretly want to access that website for “research” and need the help of their “innocent” spawn that know that site and six others they consider better. I find it odd that we live in a day and age where parents go to their children trying to learn how things work and not the other way around. When I wanted to learn how to cook, I went to my mother. When I want to learn how to change a plug, I went to my father. Now I look up online just how I can cook my chicken cu don blue, a recipe my mother has never heard of.

This is not much of a problem but an opportunity. Meaning that parents should learn this stuff, by themselves, and take an interest in what their spawn are up to. With the recent issue of cyber bullying being a hot topic, parents are oblivious to the fact their spawn is creating hell in another spawns life. How does a parent monitor this though? Let’s face being friends with your parents on FaceBook does create a since of dread considering they might find that photo of you from three years age showing you in an interesting position that would be deemed unacceptable with a hand to the back of the head. So what’s left? To be honest I don’t know. I guess the traditional methods should be considered. Keep an eye on your children and talk to them. Are they being bullied or are they bullying. One should be met with hot chocolate and talking will the other should be met with the selling other the spawns most treasured item, profits of which go to a suitable charity, and a photo on the net describing the situation.

The other topic is games making spawn violent and causing them to go on a shooting rampage. This is not the case, you can’t deem something is unhealthy to spawn and band it because of the actions of a few. Although I agree some games are not helping my case, you know how you are, and are just using the violence as a selling point and have as much stimulating game play as a brick; this doesn’t mean that “My little pony” on the xBox is going to lead your spawn to kill.  As stated above, take an interest in what your spawn is playing and see whether their choice of games is worth your seal of approval or something to mention to the local authorities. If they only play “Savage Slaughter” the series, then there is room for concern.

Parents please understand that spawn feel often alone and isolated and teenage years don’t help. Be more involved with your children and don’t just leave it to their teachers or authority figures. You are damaging your spawn more than video games could ever if you send the message that they aren’t worth your time and effort. 

I got myself a hat

So a weird thing happened to me yesterday, I graduated and for some reason I don't feel any different.  I mean I worked my ass off the last three years literally, I lost like 10 kg in one year. All that for a piece of paper that says I am officially qualified to be a business analyst and not in so many words. All the people around me were crying and hugging,  my parents gave me that proud of you son look and my friends through their arms around me similar to when Man United scores a goal...which this season is not often. Honestly I don't feel the same way. To me it was just something I had to do, and I now need to do the next thing. The ceremony was impressive,  but as a hat was being held over held over my head, I couldn't help but think first: what is up with all the hats, second: really all that work for this? The argument 'it gives you opportunities' has been through in my face but so could cutting off my leg and replacing it with a peg leg. 

You Hollywood! Stop this shit!

The movie world is filled disappointments and failures. The worse is when the prostitutes of Hollywood take a beloved character and try ring every cent out of it till there is nothing left but a husk of its former glory. The Smurfs seem a prime example. As a child growing up the Smurfs taught me a lot of things. The person wearing different clothes to everyone else is often the leader or main villain, one girl in a group of guys is a slut and that you can replace swearing with the word Smurf and it sounds retarded. But when the movie came out, I refused. Too often had an eagerly waited in line for the movie adaption of my favourite cartoon, book, comic book, or game, only to leave feeling disappointed and in need on a good brain bleaching. Ghost Rider, Green Lantern, Prince of Persia, Under Dog, all was seen by an innocent mind and produce one of anger and pessimism.

 I don’t understand how this could happen. Usually the main reason this brilliant idea turned into a shit movie is the lack of story or bad choice of leading actor. The Ghost Rider franchise screwed the pooch on both counts taking the most bad ass character in the Marvel universe and making him a whinny little tart that Nicholas Cage  is held solely responsible for in my opinion. Ghost Rider is one of the most complex stories in Marvel so A) why make a movie about it unless you know it will be great, B) get Nicolas Cage to be Johnny Blaze and C)Fuck you Cage.

Max Payne was the game that sat close to my heart. Although the graphics were in need of a fine tuning the story and action kept things entertaining for me. Once you have shot the bad guys while jumping in slow motion, there is no better way to do it, unless you have a sniper rifle from four blocks away powerful enough to remove the bad guys arm no matter where your bullet made contact. Then Mark Walberg decided to laughably to make a movie adaption. The movie’s only saving grace was Mila Kunis. Apart from her there was only one scene with slow mo and Walberg’s desperate attempted to make us care about him….Go away Mark.

But there have been certain game changers that have made me rethink my position. Iron man and Batman being the top two. That being said here are some ground rules I believe.

·         No video game adaption, just no.

·         If you must make one of a comic book, use the fucking comic book as a story.

·         Don’t use Nicholas Cage or Mark Walberg, and sad to say Ryan Reynolds. Buddy Green Lantern and R.I.P.D were shit.

·         You will never be as good as the source material. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World the movie was good, the comic is better….much better.

With all that in mind I would like to leave you with a thought…they are making a Warcraft movie. Shit.

I see what you did there

They say that with any new blog you need certain things that make it stand out from the millions of others on the web. So what makes your blog an island of truth and relevance in an ocean of lies and porn? Well that comes down to personal choice. First you need a topic to write about, and preferably one that is close to the heart. If you are a murderous sociopath that would like to share their cutting techniques with the world, then that is what you should write about and expect a visit from the local law enforcement agencies about. The next is you need to provide something that no one else can provide. A talking dog comes to mind, but since that husky on YouTube has stolen the spot light, I am pretty sure that almost every idea has been thought of, faked, and posted on the web with a ridicules amount of followers trying to take a moment out of their miserable lives by watching it. Let’s face it if you rummage through the piles of stupidity the internet mainly consists of, to find real life pokemon (that everyone else can see is a cat and its owners need to be arrested for painting a cat yellow), then you need to rethink your life.

So what makes me stand out? To be honest, not much. Think of me as the ranting Swed from that sheep in the big city cartoon where I will complain too much, and to my heart’s content about everything and anything. Expect I don’t have an annoying voice or an obviously brain tumor causing my head to be explaining large.   If you feel this is the wrong attitude to have in this life, then that is your own opinion which I respect. We live in a day and age where to have one’s own opinion and be able to share it openly is something to celebrate and by celebrate I mean sit in front of a PC for 8 hours a day complaining about the new World of Warcraft expansion because the Elves ears are just to pointy and therefore hard to replicate at the next Blizzcon. I feel if you expect things to be shit and that people will let you down, then when they are or do, you are left don’t feeling disappoint, and you get to say “I told you so!” in that smug voice that makes people want to hit you in the face with a chair.

“But Dubu you ridiculously hairy man, aren't you being a bit hypocritical?” Frankly yes and that oddly is my point. The internet has given us such amazing power but as Spider-man keeps nagging about, “With great power, comes great responsibility”. As the ones defining the internet and its uses, we must make sure that the contents are those thought stimulating and interesting topic and the content that isn't is kept in the dark pits of the internet that you climbing gear and a flash light to find. We should teach the correct ways of using the internet and show people the good and bad parts of it ensuring both the advantages and disadvantages are clearly described and understood.

So like my blog, don’t like it. Find it interesting or spill your coffee due to its unreasonable nature, I don’t care. I am writing because I can and I feel that I should. Call me what you will, I have probably been called worse and that is your opinion which as previously stated I respect, besides if you truly felt I crossed a line and wanted to do something about it, you would have to tear yourself away from your computer screen, which let’s face it, isn't going to happen until you stop masturbating.