How old is Ultron?

If this wasn’t the most anticipated movie of 2015 it was pretty damn close, but like the second child in a beauty pageant Avengers 2 Age of Ultron is lacking the certain something that made the judges become uncomfortable in their pants so much so that they made to think cold thoughts and wait a little after the credits were done. It just didn’t have the some impact of me as the first movie did, but it wasn’t a bad movie. I can’t help but feel that it may be a quality over quantity issue where Avengers 1 was three amazing Areo chocolate bars, compared to five avenge wonder bars. The former being the bar that has the most impact on your tongue leaving you wanting more but you have to wait till you can afford it again, where the ladder you can afford more of but it isn’t something to strive towards investing every time you want satisfying. Again I won’t give you the plot because that’s what Wikipedia is for but it involves robot being built to protect world, only to see it as your typical Goth teenage with daddy issues, and try to destroy it. It builds on from the previous using staples and duct tape, with the events of the first causing Ironman to complete change his attitude as a bad-ass superhero, to a concerned mother over the special child and trying to protect it with as much amour as possible.  The introduction of the new avengers was nicely done, but who didn’t see the death of (SPOILER) the fast one coming? To be honest not me, so Josh Whedon doesn’t disappoint again with amazing me there, but again refer to my first sentence. It isn’t the best movie in the Marvel movie universe but it isn’t the worse either, so it just kinda sits in the middle hopped up on sugar bouncing around showing us Scarlett Johansson’s bum every now and then, and making us wonder what a porno between Black Widow and the Hulk would look like….uncomfortable at best. 

Batman...Father of the year

With the rebooting of the DC universe with The new 52, it gave me a chance to dive back into the comics reading about my favourite characters with direr need for a mother to dress them properly, except batman because he has an expensive butler for that...and no mother, but also meant that new animated movies would be coming out. Now in terms on live action movies DC are kinda the special needs kids, even if the movies coming out in the next five years do change my mind, it is too little too late. But with animated movies they are the dogs bollocks, recreating my favourite story arcs giving me another reason to spend all day in front of my PC, although Batman does seem to have more movies here than any other superhero in the universe, but fuck it he also has better games. So the newest is Batman vs Robin where Damian Wayne is the current Robin fighting between being the son of the Dark Knight and grandson of Ras Al Ghul which he constantly reminds us about. This movie follows the Son of Batman movie which I definitely recommend but the sequel doesn't seem to live up to the father…pun intended. It isn't bad, but kinda let me down in certain parts. It doesn't bring about any big names which I understand can’t happen in all movies because they have been used more than the world’s best hooker, but who the fuck is the Court of Owls. I am told it follows a story line from the new Nightwing which brings the question why didn't they use that instead. Creating a brand new story on something old is good, but creating a new story by ripping off the old by changing one aspect, is like poking a a wasp nest with a stick and seeing how long you can stand under it without fleeing in pain, asking for little pricks to cause you a lot of pain.

Seventh Son....Twice Removed

I stand by my statement that I have proudly bellowed out every time one of friends mentions that a new movie based on something else is coming out: “movies based on games are going to be shit, but movies based on books have potential”. So when my friend one fake Lord of the Ring’s eleven cloak short of being a fan boy the movie Seventh Son, I stood by my statement….then after watching it, I wish I hadn’t and instead spent the 102min of my life, I will never get back, on something better…like wiping my bum with sand paper. The movie is set in a fantasy world where there was once a group of monster hunters not called Witchers, although there is a faint smell of Andrzej Sapkowski there but we’ll ignore it like we ready need to pee in a smelly bathroom, but called Spooks…odd considering they are the one killing the things that go bump in the night. Master Gregory played by Jeff Bridges, is a Spook and must train a young Tom Ward, played by Ben Barnes, to kill evil spirits and no this is a movie not a generic RPG. The main villain is the Queen of all witches mother Malkin, played by Julianne Moore, who enjoys wearing ridiculous amounts of tight leather like see is ready for bondage and wants to take over the world, so in terms of plot it is pretty standard like the sun rising in the morning. Now the movie is based on The Spook's Apprentice by Joseph Delaney and I am willing to bet my first born child that the book is better than the movie. Generic plot, outcome as predictable as giving a monkey a gun is a bad idea, and characters that you try to connect with but find that I found myself routing for the ogre looking thing that acted as the butler for the main protagonists who says fuck all the whole movie.

Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, Batman!

After doing this for a few months, I wanted to try something new. So I decided to go cold turkey and try stopping playing Warcraft for a while. I would put a time frame on it, but let’s face it just like a true junky; I will be hitting that virtual addiction again sometime soon. So I stepped off for a while and started playing the Batman Arkham franchise again. Now me telling people now that the Batman Arkham franchise is so brilliant that I wish it could have my children, is the same as me saying that I paly World of Warcraft; old, outdated and is just fucking obvious. But with Arkham Knight gracing us with its divine presence soon I thought it might be a good time to shed my opinion on it….because I can. Now Asylum was great…but the whole leading up to an ultimate boss battle with Killer Croc only to have an over glorified game on whack a mole, did kind of went against it. But I will give it credit, the Scarecrow parts made me start questioning my sanity. The City part of franchise, although not much of a city because it come fit in the asylum with room for a side garage, was my favorite of the franchise. Not only because for a group of ones and zeros, Catwoman has an amazing ass….revealing a lot about my relationship status, but because it kept what was great about Asylum and adding new things, showing that the developers saw what was good and kept it instead of being retarded and trying to create the awesome again from scratch. The add on of being able to play as different characters, kept things fresh in the story but was a little irritating trying to change things when you already have a gameplay programmed into your mind. Origins was just…kind of….aaahhhh. For me it was just a repeat of City and didn’t do the same City did to Asylum. That being said the battle with an overpowered Bane did make my heart beat so much that it was pretty much hitting the screen. All-in-all it was different to WoW and a great franchise, forcing to pump enough money into my PC to run Knight smoothly that it could solve Eskom’s power crisis…but I won’t be able to play it because of load shedding…fuck. 

Yes, yes they are Blending

Wow...just wow. Adam Sandler has always held a certain place in my dark heart for modeling certain aspects of my childhood. Little Nicky taught me how to handle my brothers with a shovel, Big Daddy taught me how to raise my children, and the longest yard taught me that to beat someone bigger than me is to find someone bigger than them. So when it was announced  that him and Barrymore where making another movie together in South Africa...my backyard by the way, I was kind of excited because wedding singer is one of my favourite movies. I won't bother you with the plot because that's what Wikipedia is for, but needless to say it didn't receive the justice it deserves. It was certainly better than Grow ups 2 but wasn't Sandler’s best work. Cameo by Dale Steyn was fucking awesome because I would love to see him beat the shit outta Sandler just because. All and all, the story development is okay but the same for every other fucking love movie with Sandler and Barrymore. The kids make it interesting and highlight the fact that one should always think twice about having children. Finally its cements the fact that if Terry Crews make a joke, I will laugh along in fear that he can kill me by just flexing his muscles. 

Keep the faith my brothers and sisters

Is it just me or have things lost what they once were? I write this post with some disgust and sadness in my hurt...it has been four days since I have played World of Warcraft and I find myself trying new things. To set the record straight, yes there have been periods in my so called life when I have looked at that WoW icon sitting on my desktop only to meet its gaze with a shrug and a sigh, thinking to myself "Not feeling it". This has never concerned me in the past though with full knowledge that in a week or two I will be back, foaming at the mouth ready to crack the skulls and tear out the insides of menacing ones and zeros....but recently that feeling has been extended. It might be the fact that now that I have a proper job, and have to heed the words of the so called "Man", I just don't see the appeal anymore. My days are now spent crunching numbers and reviewing reports, not casting spells and swinging swords, the ladder of which sounds more like my cup of tea...or it could be because WoW are introducing a selfie taking toy in patch 6.1.....god dammit.

2015...you have a lot to live up too

Okay so am I gonna just say it that 2014 wasn't the best year for me personally. I was finishing my studies that robbed me of many nights of sleep, my relationships took a hard hit because of that, and all my future plans kinda just died on me...like all my hopes and dreams. So 2015 is upon us and there is a lot of "This can't get any worse." Too early to tell but we'll see.