Logan

For good old Hughie Jackman giving us his last scratch and claw, cigar smoking, angry screaming version of Wolverine, the hype for Logan was right up there with the Half Life 3 and the second coming. Logan was the talk of the town for months when it was reveal, with talk all being around the future of the franchise, and who would take over the mantle of our favourite clawed Canadian. What we were met with was a resounding “meh”. The movie seem like an old professor X more most parts, with incoherent babble every now and then, with the occasional check of the pants to see if the shit dropped. Set in the future, our favourtie Aussie does what he does best, drink and itch about things. The X-men are gone, the mutants are missing and everything is looking pretty down for or little Wolvie. Chuck is off his fucking rocker, with a mental disorder, not great for the man with a weapon of mass destruction for a brain, and to make a living Logan is a fucking Uber driver….not fucking kidding. Suddenly everything that was shit gets shittier when a little girl arrives, further proving my point that women make thinks more complicated…even miniature ones. Even the whole timeline thing seems fucked. This movie is set in 2029 which is six years after the ending of days of future past. SIX YEARS. What in the hell happened to Logan in six years to make him age that bloody much? Not to mention Professor X.

It’s hard for me to write this review and take the shit out of the movie because it just doesn’t seem worth it. 2 hours and 21 minutes for that? Now I will admit that there are golden pieces in the movie. The R rating, the character development and the sendoff of the characters, but are just not connected together the way they should be. Moments in between key points are like holding together priceless art with shit. It ruins the whole piece.