Fucktastic four

Fantastic four…

See this is what happens when you give comic book franchises to movie companies who don’t know what the fuck to do with it. They fuck it up and still think they can do it again. That my friends is the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over, and expecting different results. Fox’s latest fuck up of note, is the reboot of Fantastic Four. Now when it was announced that the franchise was getting a reboot, I was all for it, and gave them the benefit of the doubt. Human torch being a black guy, got for it. Susan Storm is adopted, why the fuck not. Changing how they got their powers, I can roll with it. Mr Fantastic can warp the reality around his body making him stretch… this was the point where I say what the fuck guys. I didn’t bother watching in cinema, because it would have been better money spent paying my friend to lodge a pickaxe in my skull. As usual if you want a plot summary…..no. Okay fine, smart arse fucks his friends up, giving them powers and who then have to save the world when one of them throws a temper tantrum.  Now the plot smells fishy to begin with, but was fish lovers market bad by mid movie. The effect were cool but you can make a shit look amazing…but it still came out of someone’s anus. The acting is what got me and drove the final nail in the coffin, which would have been a welcome relief. My main issue was Mr Fantastic himself, Miles Teller. He just seemed like a winey little bitch the whole movie to the point where you hope Jamie Bell just ties him around a tree surrounded and leaves him to die. A lot of people had problem with Michael B. Jordan playing Johnny Storm, but I was impressed the most by him. He played the character pretty well in my eyes, cocky, adrenaline seeking, bad boy that would sleep with you, set your curtains on fire and then never call you. Toby Kebbell take on Doom was….blah, considering he had to work with a script written by a chimpanzee.