Pools of Death

There is no need to say it, but I will anyway. Deadpool is a great movie, and if the book office earnings did not tell you that, then you must be living under a rock you uncultured heathen. It was one of the few comic book movie adaptations that did the comic justice while still establishing itself as a movie although with a lot of swearing, guns, and cock jocks….like the USA moving into your backyard screaming at the top of its lungs taking pot shots every now and then to make sure you paying attention.  I won’t spoil anything because I am pretty sure the trailers already did that and won’t do a plot summary for you because you don’t deserve it reading a random blog, blah I say Blah! Now of course I am going to give the movie some shit because that’s what I do, which is pretty hard to do considering it’s hard to take the piss out of something that seems hell-bent on taking the piss out of itself.  First one being when will Hollywood learn to make their trailers better? Every trailer I saw for Deadpool (in reality all two) kind of spoiled it for me revealing some of the best moments of the movie. I can imagine they want to reveal some things to draw in the crowds but this was a whore revealing one boob only to charge me R90 to see the other. Disappointing especially after I can now see the boob wherever I want on Youtube. Also they left out his multiple personality which is one of his best features. They could of at least have good old Reynolds put on different voices showing his inner monologue debating whether him kebabing a man is art, just plain fun or both. The inner debates he had with himself in the comics and the game made the character seem to reveal this inner conflict to still be what he is, and what he has to do, which I understand is hard to imagine for a character like Deadpool but fans of the character would understand.

However the movie did deliver what it promised: dick jokes, guns, knives and violence, a truly cringe worthy moments that Seth McFarlane must of written or even Jimmy Karr. At the end all of my issues with the movie are tiny cracks in a gigantic butt, keeping with the Deadpool train of thought. Needs a good wiping now and then, but still can’t draw me away from the fact the….sorry wait left the oven on……

Where is the Batman?

It seems that the DC animated movie people only read Batman comics when they were smaller, deepening their social awkwardness, and trying to understand why girls wouldn’t talk to them, because the number of Batman animated movies is fucking crazy. If we look at recent years there has been three Batman movies : Offspring of the flying rodent, Group of weirdos in Owl masks, and now what every vampire says when drinking the blood of a clown, this blood is questionable. Batman Bad Blood sees Batman disappearing for a while because Batwoman showed up, thus further proving the producers have a bad relationships with woman. With Batman M.I.A, it’s up to Nightwing and Robin to ask what the fuck and go out and do some shit the the offspring of Batman would do, beat the shit out of people till they find the truth, which if Batdad was around would leave disappointed in his bastard and adopted drama queen.  The team expands with not only Batwoman but also Batwing, and no not the plane suddenly coming to life and helping the Bats, which worked in Mass Effect 3 because EDI tightened every male gamers pants and was a source of possibly 50% of the fan fiction. Batwing is the bat version of Ironman which the most basic way you can describe him because that is about as far as you can describe him. The story develops quite nicely to be honest with a nice little plot twist, checking off the comic book movie list of things to get done by the end like references only the comic readers will get, and the the exploitation of the female characters who apparently must wear things three sizes too small. Still waiting for Joker to make an appearance in these line of movies, with the writers resorting to lower criminal like Doll-maker, Mad-hatter, and Killer Croc. Ras al Ghul made an appearance in the first movie but only for 30 seconds, trying to beat Liam Neeson for the character but failing by playing with the fire, unlike Neeson.

At the end the movie is just a stepping stone to the next movie which was announced….Teen Titans vs Justice League. Now that makes me produce enough saliva to run the plumbing in my house for a week.